Zoob

New thread has been made. IT'S TIME to close this one.

Let me tell you youngin's about a time long before your youtubes and your Shooryoucan's. A simple time, where the elderberries grew plentiful out of the majestic land, where men wore suspenders, and the women wore trousers fashioned from the muscular twine of the blighted platypus. Back in the day, there was only one fighting game. It involved a musket, your wits, and the most spacious stages you could ever possibly imagine. There were only two characters in that game and only one playable character. In this game, there was a gun and there was one of the most fearsome yet docile animals in Nature's green kingdom. You could only play this game at night, too. This damn bear would stalk out of the wilderness, its stomach a-rumbling for the vittles you cooked the day before and would do its damndest to get to that nutritious snack. This could be seen as the world's first grappler character, for once it got into your pic-a-nic basket, it was game over. The only playable character was you, and it was fully customizable, provided that you had a limited clothing supply, considering it was back in the day and clothing stores had yet to be conceived. Yes, the only attack in your moveset was a special move, Fire Gun. This special move could only be used once, as it required 100% meter and a musket charge stored, which luckily you gained at the beginning of the round. You could also fake the Fire Gun special, in an attempt to bluff and make the bear respect your spacing, but scrubby bears usually attempted to mash out and charge your porch. Damn button mashers. We called this game Bears Off the Back Porch, and it was a damn fine time if you were winning. The game was a bit unfair though, since the Guy With the Gun had a 9-1 projected match up with the only other character in the game, and that was because Timmy was the worst shot you've ever seen in your life and got bodied every time he played. Tournament nerves get the best of us, that much is true. Soon, Nature realized that people were playing the game and introduced patches, which were mostly pallet swaps of the bear colors, including Grizzly and Feral Red Bear. It wasn't long before another patch was made and shotguns were introduced, making the matchup almost unwinnable by the bear. There was a couple of revisions where Nature toyed with the concept of making another Guy With the Gun wear a bear skin as an additional mixup, but the concept fell as flat as the characters attempting to fool the overpowered Gun Dude. Apparently, Fire Gun was an option select within itself and dealt with both options. Bears Off the Goddamn Porch. Now that was a man's game.

Zoob here with an otaku fact: Vyers used Kowaii, which would give the connotation of being scary or unpleasant, not kawaii. Speaking of which, what the hell is your number Vyers? I got the same problem when I tried texting you.

SC5 in a nutshell: Patrokalos: Oneechan! Pyrrhead: Oniichan! Dumb Brother: Oneechan! Dumb Sister: Oniichan! DB: Oneechan, our mom is dead! DS: Oniichan, I'm an evil puppet! DB: What? DS: Can't you accept me, let's be family! DB: I can't do it! (runs away) DS: No, now I'm all alone! Crazy Hot Clown Bitch: I'm your best friend, because I'm insane and I like evil things! Act 2 ZWEI: You're a pussy, however the hell you say your name, I'mma fight you with my wolf fang fist Dumb Brother: I'm so torn and confused! I want to go to Hot Topic and buy black clothing, but I'll fight you! Sigfried: I'm just here because fanboys will bitch if I'm not involved. (Looks old) ZWEI: You suck, I just beat your ass. Dumb Brother: Oh woe is me. ZWEI: Fight me for my wolf spirit brother demands satisfaction! Dumb Brother: Hey look, I found the Soul Calibur, so I don't need my shield any more(WHAT)! Ha, I love my sister and I beat you! ZWEI: So go get her back and have weird sexual tension with her! Dumb Brother: Yeah! I'm going to go fight other people that we neglected to mention are in this universe until now for no real reason! Sigfried: Yeah, go do that, I guess. God, I'm old. Act 3: Crazy Hot Clown Bitch: Hey look, it's that sword I am hot and bothered about! I guess you can have it, Pyrrhea, even though I secretly lust for this thing and for some reason I never take it for myself! Pyrrhea: WAAA, I AM EVIL NOW! LOOK AT MY HOLLOW CRAZY EYES BECOME EVEN MORE HOLLOW AND CRAZY! Dumb Brother with a Sister Complex: NOOO, YOU ARE EVIL THE TRAGEDY! NOW I MUST KILL YOU BECAUSE OF SOME PROPHECY! Pyrrhea: NO I AM DEAD! Dumb Shit: I KILLED HER NOOOOO! NOW I'M IMMORTAL FOR SOME REASON! Angel thing that's clearly not Sophitia: WELCOME HOME, MY SON. Dumb Shit: WELCOME ME?!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!! Sophitia: What? Dumb Shit to the Infinite Power: I now have control over space and time, for some reason, I'm going to go back and not break the Soul Edge so sister and I can go home and have horribly mutated babies spawned from our unnatural lust for each other's genitalia! Pyrrhea from the past: WAAA I'M STILL EVIL AND POSSESSED! Dumb Shit: I SAVED YOU MY SUMPTUOUS SISTER WHO LOOKS LIKE CASSANDRA FOR SOME REASON, NOW WE CAN GO HOME! Pyrrhea: Do you want to destroy the only thing that can stop the unspeakable evil of the Soul Edge? Dumb Shit Who I Hate With All My Heart and Mind: I don't see what could possibly go wrong with such a stupid action! Let's do it! Pyrrhea: Let's go home and get me pregnant! Dear Tales, You're welcome. -Zoob

Shout outs to the MindTrain taking 2nd in the Stratford tournament! Also, I'm probably going to make a new thread soon, with a more apt title.

Happy new year to my crazy extended family

Me playing KOF in a nutshell. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6JtKerlcf0&feature=g-all-u&context=G2b5dca8FAAAAAAAAEAA

Ha ha, much love to y'all. I'm in the area now, just waiting for my new job to start. Merry Christmas from the Buddhist

I think I already won then >.>

Zoobstradamus predicts the future yet again! I knew it!

KOF training mode at Why Temple plz. I need to learn to combo max cancel into super manly command throw like a boss

I would reply to this, but I have SHIT TO DO

We went to Denny's and Jeremy got the Mot's Sticks. Then I cheesed out Jian at MK to win the AUSA tournament; cheesy like mozarell. Now if you will excuse me, I HAVE SHIT...TO DO!

Shoutouts to me sucking in FUC. Shoutouts to seeing the whole dustloop fam again at random intervals. Shoutouts for Jian treating me to pro Indian food two days in a row and for Soul Cal strats Shoutouts to Mindgame for letting me crash at the Mindhau5 in between chaotically organized interviews Shoutouts to LPT for the hours of level up sessions Shoutouts to Cheese for never giving a fuck when he pushes buttons